Clarklov's Tummy

I've commented before about how I eat the same things for lunch in the same order every day. Today I brought only string cheese and a granola bar, knowing that I wasn't sticking around at work past noon. (Don't worry, I got here at 4.) I at the granola bar around breakfast time, and then at 11:45, roughly normal lunch time, I pulled out the string cheese, normally the first thing I eat out of my lunch. I glanced at a website or two as I ate, and then when the cheese was gone, I reached for my sandwich. Only after reaching did I realize that there isn't one. Any my stomach is now hungry for a sandwich. I've apparently trained myself very well.

From the first time we heard him last year, Shannon and I (particularly Shannon) knew that we wanted Taylor to win American Idol. But at no point we were tricked into thinking that he was the best singer. American Idol isn't really a singing contest. You'll note that Ryan never says, "Vote for who you think the best singer is." He says, "Vote for who you like." Really, the object is to make people watch the show, and then buy the album. They don't need the best singers to win, they need the most popular people to win. It does so happen that for the most part those two groups over lap, but if they could get 40% of America to watch a show about the worst singers in the country, they'd do that, too. (Oh, wait, they do. It's the first 6 weeks of American Idol.)

A few thoughts from last night:
- The guys have improved. They went from crummy to ok.
- Phil Stacey really needs to either have more hair on his head, or less hair on his eyebrows.
- Last season I complained that Chris sang the same song every week. Honestly, he might have been, I really couldn't tell them apart. This year, however, everyone seems to be the same singer. The guys really feel like they're the same person over and over again. I don't see anyone that can do some Chris type alternative rock. I don't see any blues or jazz from anyone but Sundance. Last night was like 90 minutes of the soft rock station that I never listen to.
- I can only assume it was 90 minute of it, I gave up about an hour in.
- Even during Chris Sligh's performance (one of the better male singers and probably the most entertaining person) I was thinking one thing: I wish Lakisha was next.

Rexer

The Rex Lee Run is less than a month away, so we'll be making another trip to Provo to run/walk it. For years, my excuse for slow times has been that the cold weather leading up to the late March date keeps me from getting in shape. Unfortunately, I now live in St. George. I think my excuse this year will be that I was slowed by the crappy colors they've picked. I've run the race a number of years, and have shirts even from when I didn't run it. With the exception of one year where they went for a crappy redesign, they've stuck to the same shirt, with different colors. I've got blue, yellow, red, orange, and purple. Last year, the apparently couldn't think of any new colors and went for both blue and tan. So it was BYU themed. This year, apparently those girls that I've been seeing in the malls for a few years have finally made it to BYU and seem to be running the show. Pink and brown. I'm probably going to be required to wear a really long green shirt layered underneath it.

Could it be?

For years, I have been a defender of Utah. I defend Utah culture, "Utah Mormons" (it pains me to even use the term), and other such things. But I must admit that last night I had a "I just need to get out of Utah moment". Shannon and I had a dessert party with 2 other couples in the ward. We sat around talking, and it was great until the second half of the evening when the conversation turned to babies, country music and politics. The first is a bit of a touchy subject with us, the second I know nothing about (and I like it that way). The third topic (politics) isn't usually a good one to discuss with people you don't really know, so I tried to keep my mouth shut. I actually did keep my mouth shut and as a result had to wait until getting home before erupting. I consider myself a republican and a conservative. Yet, for not the first time, I found myself in a setting where I was somehow the most liberal person there. By a mile. I think Shannon(!) was the second most liberal person there. I just wanted to go somewhere where I could feel conservative again.

And what are the "crazy liberal ideas" that I've got floating around in my head? Oh, silly things like:

• Barack Obama not being the devil. (Actual statement)
• Gun control not being a bad thing.
• It is possible to be both LDS and a democrat.
  

Maybe I just need to hang out with the local democrats more. I wonder if there are any . . .

Weekend Forecast: Weathermen

I played basketball with the guys Saturday morning, as usual. What was unusual however is that Nick brought his friend PJ. It's a slightly odd name, sounded vaguely familiar, and was quickly forgotten as we started playing. It was only later in the day that someone let me know he really is: the KCSG weather man! KCSG is our local St. George TV station, which likes to play Dixie sports and does the news. We don't watch it much, because it's all local and is somewhat low budget. An old friend, Anela, used to work there, but doesn't anymore. Oh, and scary eyes lady used to anchor the news, but I hear she might be gone. But PJ is great! Of all the people I've ever seen on the news there (all 4 or 5 of them) he's easily the best. And he's not bad at basketball either.

Sunday rolled around, and I found myself again in the presence of Brother Eubank, who keeps introducing himself in priesthood. It was a weekend full of weathermen.

Baby Names

Shannon is, for some reason, reading aloud all the names of the wives and children of old time presidents of the church. To get her back, I went to www.babynames.com (of course) to find way too many baby names. Of particular note, are the top four boys names for 2006:

Aiden, Caden, Braden, and Jayden. Apparently Hayden didn't get the memo, because he's all the way down at number 11.

babynames.com is, of course, on pot, because the Social Security Administration differs greatly. Their top 10 names for 2005 (found at http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/) are Jacob, Michael, Joshua, Matthew, Ethan, Andrew, Daniel, Anthony, Christopher, Joseph. Still dominated by biblical names. While the SSA has access to what people are actually naming their kids, babynames.com apparently only has access to what 15 year old girls surfing the internet think are cute names.

Curiously, the two sites agree somewhat on girls names, with Emma, Madison, Abigail, Olivia, Isabella, Hannah and Ava appearing in the top 10 on both sites.

Way down South in Dixie . . .

Last night at the YM basketball game I was refereeing (not a blowout until the 2nd quarter!) the prayer before the game went basically like this: "Thanks for the day, thanks that Dixie won, let us have fun, the end." When I was in high school, I was vaguely aware of whether our basketball team was winning or losing. And my best friend was on the basketball team. Here in San Jorge, people are talking about Dixie High School all the time. During football season, it was mentioned in the Good News Minute in RS at our ward every week the Dixie football team won. People at work discuss the high school sports teams. It's just so weird to me the way the whole community cares about the high school sports.

Tips for basketball:

• Don't let the other team have a 20 point lead in the second quarter.
• Don't say any words that you wouldn't use infront of your mother.
• Make free throws!
• Overtime losses still count as losses.
• Figure out how to get Brandon to shoot more

So, after our 76-74 OT loss, we drop to 2-3 for the season. The best team with a losing record I've ever been on. (Remember that 3OT loss from earlier in the season.)

G.G.

We're back from Provo. I'm sure Shannon will be putting up pictures of the baby soon. But now for the most entertaining thing of the weekend: the drive home. As we were coming home, we saw a state trooper who had pulled someone over, and as we passed, Shannon felt compelled to salute him, so that, in her words, "he knows we're the good guys." This of course prompted Shannon to make herself a badge proclaiming her to be a "Good Guy". So it's official, in case any of you were wondering.

How do you dress for THIS?

It's been a slow posting week, but this is an interesting picture of winter melting into summer. I can't decide if living in this place would be ideal, or the worst of both worlds.

In Defence of my Criticism

Shannon has claimed that I can't possibly know how bad of a book Jane Eyre is, because I've never read it. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here to refute that.

I believe that slogging your way through 100 pages of a book is certainly enough to state that it is terrible. From "There was no possibility of taking a walk that day," right on to "Amen, even so, come, Lord Jesus," we have hundreds of pages of long, wordy, pointless passages about her terrible lot in life. Right off the bat, she's griping about the rain keeping her from a walk. Her aunt and uncle are cruel to her, she is sent to an orphanage, they are mean to her. The feed her burnt porridge. Her only friend dies. She is penny less. She is proposed to, by her cousin. She meets a nice man who proposes. Oh, wait, he's actually married and keeps his wife locked up in the attic. It's not that having a terrible life necessarily leads to a terrible book, it's that we have to have hundreds of pages of wallowing in her misery. Ms. Eyre has an inability to form concise sentences or scenes.

I will compare her to a contemporary: Jane Austin. Austin's books are lighter in mood, and faster in pace. The book is shorter, and somehow, more stuff happens. There are more characters that we care more about. Austin proves herself capable of witty banter, and comedy along with her social commentary and girly high society marriage plots. Back ground plots and clever social arrangements keep us guessing. But Jane Eyre, oh, we know what's going to happen to her. Tragedy. Over and over again. For 500 pages.

Where was this when I was a kid?

I was never much of a Boy Scout. I blame it on an inherent difference between my fundamental nature and The Boy Scouts of America. (no, I'm not gay, it's a different inherent incongruity.) I should have joined the "Order of the Science Scouts of Exemplary Repute and Above Average Physique". The OOTSSOERAAAP is like the scouts in that it gives out badges, but it's much more science-y, so I actually qualify for some of them. I'm most proud of my qualification for:

The "I'm pretty confident around an open flame" badge,
The "my degree inadvertently makes me competent in fixing household appliances" badge,
The "has frozen stuff just to see what happens" badge (LEVEL III),
The "experienced with electrical shock" badge (LEVEL III)

Hip Hopera

Every time I hear this Pepsi commercial on the radio it just makes me laugh. Hip-hop is a worthless art form.

A Wave of Memories

Shannon recently commented on a trail that has the world's most inaccessible trail head. Tyler then commented another hike in the area to a formation known as "The Wave" (pictured). I only bring this up, because The Wave is instantly recognizable to any BYU science or engineering student, as it's the cover of the huge Calculus book. (You know, the one with all the images that look like they were printed right off the screen of a graphing calculator?) Anyway, it brought back some good memories.

The Phone Call

Yesterday, as I was about to walk out the door for work, I got a phone call from Jessica. There was no fire, no emergency and no one had stopped breathing. But there was a math problem that apparently needed to be solved urgently. So I found myself on speaker phone, a virtual member of Jessica's Algebra II class. (At least I got to say 'hi' to Mr. Turner.) She gave me the problem, and though my first reaction was to say, "You're at SCHOOL!" or "Do your OWN math problems," I'm just unable to turn down a challenge, particularly when someone else called up their brother.

So, the question is this: if x + y = 2 and x^2 + y^2 = 3, what is x^3 + y^3? I solved it in a few minutes. However, half way through, Turner gave out the hint that you don't need to solve for x and y to find the answer. So after I was done (beating out the rival brother), I had to find another way to solve it. Don't worry, I've got them both now, so I was able to sleep last night. I've even got them already typed up (I sent them to Jessica) so if you want a copy . . . nah, who are we kidding? You don't want a copy.

Scout Sunday

This past Sunday at church was "Scout Sunday". Half a dozen kids and leaders were in their full scout uniforms at church. What else does Scout Sunday entail? I have no idea. It was never mentioned, there were no talks, no presentations, no announcements, nothing. Apparently the purpose is to get out of wearing a tie once a year.

Albert, Invariants, Lester and Cats

Einstein once wrote a book that explained relativity for anyone with a high school education. He believed that even if you couldn't do all the math required, there wasn't anything stopping anyone from understanding relativity. I picked up the book at roughly that point in life and didn't find it terribly easy to understand. He used words I knew, but that doesn't mean I understood what he was getting it. (Of course, I have a degree in Physics, and got a near perfect score on my E&M final that was almost exclusively about relativity, so maybe I'm just relativity handicapped.) Anyway, it seems that Einstein was always trying to explain science to the common man. Just look at this Einstein quote which I have stolen blatantly from Tyler:

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

Jesus Wants Me for a Top-Pilot!

Too bad I never got to be a Top-Pilot :(

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but here are some of the things that you probably missed out on in primary by being born too late: (with apologies to Lucile and Wendy, to only ones born pre-1970 to yet comment on this blog.)

Seagulls (12 & 13 year old girls), Bluebirds (10 & 11 year old girls) Zion's Boys and Zion's Girls (8 & 9 year olds), Trekker Boys (10 year old boys), Guide Boys (11 year old boys), Larks (9 year old girls), Larks (for youngest Home Builder girls), Co-Pilots (7 year olds), Top-Pilot (8 year olds), Moonbeams (3 year olds), Rainbows (6 year olds), Gaynotes (9 year old girls), Firelights (10 year old girls), Merrihands (11 year old girls)

I'm just glad that no little boy was ever subjected to being a gaynote.

Source: LDS.org

Someone, please, HIT ME

Sometimes events come along that completely change the way we see the world. Last night, Shannon introduced me to one of those moments. For all this while, I had been operating under the belief that Brittney Spears sings terrible, terrible music. But she doesn't! She sings good music, and does so terribly! If you want evidence, go check out a Scottish group named Travis singing Hit Me Baby One More Time. It's not the songs fault! The song is slower, more ballad like, and no one is wearing a tight leather outfit. I'm not saying that I would have rushed out to buy the song if Travis had come out with it first, but I do like it, and would listen to it on the radio, rather than running to pour boiling oil into my ears when Brittney comes on.

180,000

Well, because I forgot my lunch today, an extra trip home was required, and that pushed my car over 180,000 miles. I guess that's a momentous thing or something. It's still going, and relatively well. Of course, I'm hesitant to even invest in an oil change, but if the last 5.2 trips around the earth worth of driving have been an indication of what's to come, it'll keep going a little bit longer.

Nerds

Shannon and I are nerds. Yesterday on gmail chat, Shannon tried to add asterisks around a word to make it *cute* or something, only to discover that this is the gmail method for making a word bold. I suppose true nerds would already have known that, but instead we had to spend the next three minutes putting any and every set of marks around words, looking for more tricks. We tried !excitement!, @email@, #numbers#, $money$, %stats%, ^pointies^, &ands&, {brackets}, [squares], ,commas,, .dots. /slashes/, /more slashes\, =equals=, -minus-, and +pluses+ before we finally stumbled on _lines_ which makes things italicized. I think we can finally rest easy, knowing that we've tried them all.

Alex will be proud.

I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but Shannon and I can now proudly say that we have driven across two states just to get a Jamba Juice. The nearest one to us is in Mesquite, NV, so off we went from Utah, through Arizona and into Nevada to get some refreshments to start our adventures. We turned off the highway in Littlefield, AZ to go back through such towns as Gunlock and Shivwits on our way up to Mountain Meadows, site of a famous massacre 150 years ago. We also went from the 60 something degree weather of Mesquite to the icy, windy, sub freezing hill over looking the massacre site. We stopped by Pine Valley on the way back, but didn't get out of the car. It was a good chance to get out and see some parts of our new neighborhood that we've haven't experienced yet. Just next time we'll have to take warmer coats.

The Agony

While at Mountain Meadows today (summary: COLD!) I backed into a marble bench, which savagely attacked my calf. Apparently taking an injured muscle, doing nothing with it for a couple hours, then playing basketball for an hour and then sitting around for a few hours more is not good therapy. It is now highly painful to self-locomote.

But the real pain is that of losing a church basketball game. I think the final score was something like 76-73 as we came up just short in triple overtime. It was pretty nuts. We should have lost in regulation, but a buzzer beating 3 pointer kept us in it. We should have won in the first OT, but missed a close shot at the buzzer. We should have won in the second OT, but they had their own buzzer beating 3 pointer. By the 3rd OT we were almost glad to just have it end.