Friday, January 31

Still Employed

Well folks, it looks like I've made it through the month of January without losing my job.  Good job me!

On the one hand, that doesn't seem like such an accomplishment.  Nearly every person who reads this (and is employed) will be able to say the same thing.  On the other hand, I couldn't say the same thing last year.  Yes, we just passed the one year anniversary of me getting laid off.  I think it was the 29th of last year.

It's been an interesting year.  When I went to work on that fateful day, I was generally aware that there would be layoffs any day, and that day was particularly likely.  From the information that had been announced, I probably had something like an 8% chance of being laid off, but, for various business reasons, I rationalized that number down considerably, to somewhere under 5%.  (I was mostly right about that; as far as I know, less than 5% of the people in my group were let go.)  Of course, calculating things correctly isn't much fun when you find yourself on the wrong side of that 5% line.  So, I find myself returning home with bad news at about 9:30 that morning.  Sad day.

It's had some lasting effects.  A month or two ago Shannon was at home and had the garage door remote in her pocket, left there from when she went to check the mail, or go to the bus stop.  She managed to accidentally bump it and the door started opening.  Her first instinct was that it was me returning home from work unexpectedly as a result of getting laid off again.  I've had to promise that if I do get laid off again, I'll go see movies all day and come home at a regular time, at least.  If I do come home early for some reason, I make sure and call or text to let her know that all is well.

The lasting effects aren't all bad.  While it takes a long time to train little kids to do anything, once you've got them trained, they stick with it pretty well.  We've managed to get the girls to stop praying for me to get a new job, so now they are thankful for my job on a very regular basis.

We've also been humbled financially (once again).  Sure, it's stress inducing when your bank account is headed the wrong way, but at the same time, it's nice to be reminded of the true differences between wants and needs.  (For those scoring at home, DVDs from Netflix are a want, but Netflix streaming is still a need.)  Even at our most poor, we still have a lot of stuff.

So, I'm grateful that we're here in Illinois.  And I'm more grateful today than I was a year ago that I can go to work, get messy and come home tired.  (And hungry.  I'm always hungry.  Why?)

Monday, January 27

School of my dreams

Evidently, it is every kids dream to go to school in Illinois.  This is because kids rarely actually go to school here.  School was cancelled today and tomorrow because of the cold, so Julia is going to get 14 days of school in this month.  At this rate, to get the standard 180 days of school in, they'll have to keep the schools open for . . . 12.5 months per year.  (January has 23 weekdays this year.  We've had 4 days lost to cold, and 5 days off for New Years, MLK Day and some sort of teacher work day.)  As a half day kindergarten student Julia only goes to school for about 2.5 hours per day, so for the month, she'll get in 35 hours of school.

Presumably, this trend won't continue.  In theory, it won't stay this cold forever, and February and March shouldn't have as many holidays.  On the other hand, they cancelled 2 days of school in September for heat this year, so I suppose anything can happen.

As for me, I don't get any days off between New Years and Memorial Day.  :(

Saturday, January 25

Cold weather is good for driveway stalagmites. This one took about a week to gr

Cold weather is good for driveway stalagmites. This one took about a week to grow from the condensation from the furnace exhaust. Unfortunatly, it partially blocks Shannon's entry to the garage. Eventually we have to go bust it up or knock it over or something. I'm not sure that any of them have melted this winter, so the snow pile has a little ice mountain range in it. The neighbors have mounds that aren't in the way of their cars and have grown to about 3 feet in height.

Monday and Tuesday next week both have highs of -5 degrees, so we'll quickly have a replacement ice pile.

Tuesday, January 21

Um . . . have you read the book?

Tonight for FHE, we sang "Book of Mormon Stories" for both the opening and closing song.  (Julia's choice)  This brought to light two things that I've noticed lately about the song.  First, neither Shannon nor I are too sure about the exact lyrics in the second verse.  We get the gist of it, but we're never sure if the Lamanites are "meeting", "seeking", "finding" or "other-verb-ing" others who are seeking liberty.

The other thing is, did Elizabeth Fetzer Bates ever actually read the Book of Mormon?  I mean, think about the lyrics.

"Book of Mormon stories that my teacher tells to me are about the Lamanites in ancient history."
The Book of Mormon is about the Lamanites?  Really?  I'm pretty sure it follows the Nephites quite a bit more.  The Lamanites are kinda the bad guys.  The most notable good-guy Lamanite is Samuel, and his back story is pretty much "so, this Lamanite just showed up one day and said a bunch of stuff.  We couldn't hit him with rocks, and then he left and we never heard from him again."  Maybe the cop-out here is that Sister Bates had a teacher that only liked to tell the Lamanite stories? (Samuel, Lamoni, etc.)

"Lamanites met others who were seeking liberty"
Ah, turns out it's "seeking".  Again, verse two starts with the Lamanites.  No mention of the Nephites yet.  And they met "others" who were seeking liberty.  That must mean they have met two separate groups who are seeking liberty, because the Lamanites certainly aren't one of those groups.  Unless the song is talking about the Lamanites seeking the liberty to bash in some Nephite skulls.  But that can't be it, because the Nephites aren't in this song.

vs 4: "Abinadi . . . all chained up from head to toe"
Actually, no chains in the scriptural account.  But, they are in the famous picture.

vs 8: "After Christ was crucified . . . He came forth to teach the truth"
I'm not sure why Christ's visit to the Nephites (note: not the Lamanites) is the 8th verse.  Has anyone ever gotten this far in the song?  All those primary kids hands would be numb from banging on their scriptures at the end of each line by verse 5 or 6, I think.  The crowing event - the Most Important Story of the whole book, one might say - should be somewhere in the first couple of verses, I would think.  I get that it's a big finish and all, but, really, way to bury the lead (lede?).  (The answer to this is probably that the "optional" verses were written years later by Nancy K. Daines Carter.)

Sister Bates would be turning 105 this year, so she's probably not around to answer these important questions about one of Primary's defining songs.  Obviously, La-man-ites fits in the song much better than Ne-ee-phites, so we can't make a simple swap to fix things up.  The time to fix this would have been 1969 when the song was being written.  Maybe I'll see if I can get my girls to pronounce it Ne-phi-ites . . .

Tuesday, January 14

Half the Man My Dad Is

December 28th, 2013.

I know it would have been a little more impressive if I had remembered to write about this on the 28th of last month, but that was the day that I reached exactly half my dad's age.  Or, I can phrase it this way: on 12/28/2013 I was the same age as my dad was the day I was born.  (The two statements are entirely equivalent.)

Other than this numerical curiosity, I really don't have a lot to say on the topic.  Sorry, no existential musings, no mid-life crisis, and no ode to my father.  Just the interesting ratio of ages.

Sunday, January 12

Twiddling my Fingers

I started taking piano lessons when I was about 8 years old.  From the very beginning, I remember my dad telling me things like "you'll be able to play in church your whole life."

Today's topic: was this prophesy a blessing or a curse?

I started playing the piano for priesthood when I was probably about 13, and did so until I left for college, about 4 years later.  So, 1 hymn a week, 48 weeks a year for 4 years gives 192 songs.  At first, it was the same half dozen songs on a loop, but I gradually branched out, which was good for when I started going to seminary.

Despite growing up in Zion, in 4 years I never had someone else in my seminary class who would admit to playing the piano.  Statistically, it's hard to imagine that no one else in those classes could play.  (C'mon, 100 Mormons and not a single one that plays the piano?)  Well, I guess Tracy could play "I Stand All Amazed" so for one year (1 semester?) I didn't have to play that one.  Accounting for a few absences, assemblies and Tracy, we'll cut that down to 150 hymns a year for 4 years, for another 600.

As a missionary, I played in the MTC and in 4 of my 5 areas for church.  So, we'll call that 83 weeks of 3 songs a week (I don't remember rest hymns on my mission) for 249 more.  I played for the choir in one ward.  I also played for every missionary conference, musical fireside, etc for 2 years.  This number is more fuzzy, but I'm going to claim credit for another 100 songs.  Oh, and I provided the piano for 1 1/2 CDs, too, so throw on another 20 for good measure.

Amazingly, as a single guy in Provo, I almost never played the piano for anything.  It's really quite curious that I have been playing the piano more or less continuously for nearly 20 years in every single ward, branch, seminary class, whatever, except for my 3 single student wards in Provo.  Once I got married, all bets were off.  1 year as an organist: 3.5 x 48 = 168.

That was immediately followed by a year as a choir accompanist.  I'm not sure how to best count playing for the choir.  We only perform for the ward about once a month, but we have practice every week.  I only play one song per week, but I do play it over and over again.  I'm going to claim credit for 3 "songs" per week while playing for the choir.  Some of those songs are hard.  So, 40 weeks per year (choirs take weeks off occasionally) x 3 = 120.

We went to my parents house for a few months, so I got some time off before we went to St. George, where within a month or two, I was playing for the choir again.  2 years there gives 240 more songs.  At this point, special musical numbers in church are just an extra throw in that I don't even charge for.  We bought a house in St. George, and moved wards, where it took only a month or two before I was choir pianist again.  2 more years, 240 more songs.

Then we went to Michigan.  One of our very first weeks there, we went to choir, and they mentioned that the accompanist was moving, and they weren't sure who would play the piano for them.  2 or 3 weeks later, I started my next stint playing for the choir.  So, another 2.5 years and 300 songs.

(Lest people nit-pick my life story here, it was probably only 9 months in Provo, and our two stops in St. George were about 24 and 25 months, so the one and two months it took before I was called leave things a bit short of the 1 and 2 years I'm claiming.  But, we were in Michigan 2 years and 10 months, so that evens things out a bit.  Also, remember those special musical numbers I threw in for free?)

We've now landed in Illinois, where I haven't had a calling for 4 months.  (That doesn't mean that I still didn't accompany the women's half (or three quarters) of the choir, and a Shanny solo for the Christmas program.)  Well, to the surprise of almost no one (other than the choir director) I'm the new choir accompanist.

As you've been adding up all these numbers, you see that I'm now somewhere around 2,229 songs into my accompanying career in church.  Yes dad, those piano lessons have paid off.  I really don't mind playing for the choir, though it's been nice to have a break for a few months from playing.  I'll keep on playing as long as there are Bishops to keep calling me, but I do have one rule that I had to institute a number of years ago: I don't pick hymns anymore.  I've picked them all so many times.  I can play way more of them than most people know, so if you need someone to play a hymn for you, I'm glad to do it, but you pick it.

Sunday, January 5

All I want for Christmas is . . . shoes?

What is the world coming to when my most anticipated Christmas gift was shoes?  But it was, and apparently I'm not all that ashamed of it.  About 2 years ago, I blogged about my new shoes.  You can use that link as the 'before' picture.  Here's what they look like 700 miles later:


I washed them after the last run I did in them, so they actually look pretty good.  Also, I hope you like looking at my leg hair.  There are a few rips in the fabric between the toes, but the real reason for replacement is only visible from the bottom:


Apparently I push off harder with my left foot or something.  There are 3 holes of varying size on that foot (1st, 2nd and 5th toes).  For a while I've been treating it like a very gradual transition to running completely barefoot.  And I will still put a few more miles on these shoes, but with the holes water gets in very, very easily, and that water is very cold this time of year.  So, new shoes for Christmas!


Yeah, they're the same shoes.  Still Vibram KSOs.  I think they've quit making them in lieu of 100 other fancier varieties.  That means that the selection is a bit more limited, so I ended up with boring gray ones (with "camo" soles, which thankfully are more of just a gray/black marbled look).  I would have been happy to have bright red ones or something more fun, but couldn't justify paying an extra $10 or more for different color options.  I'm not usually a big fan of flamboyant footwear, but if you're already wearing some of the most bizarre shoes you can find, why not go all the way?  While I won't pay extra for different colors, I will pay extra for . . .


More shoes!  These photograph poorly, because they're all black.  They're Vibram Classics with the notably more open top.  I found these for less than $30, and since the KSOs were less than $50: hooray!  I haven't gone running in the classics yet (high temp of -14 °F tomorrow), but I have been out in the new KSOs twice.  The first time I was super smart and went out for a 9 mile run in brand new shoes.  I started a blister at about mile 6, I think.  I did 5 miles yesterday and wore socks, partly for warmth, partly for blister prevention.

Friday, January 3

Understanding Numbers

I'm a nerdy guy who likes numbers.  I had a calculator watch for pretty much all of elementary and middle school.  I've got a blog tag just for nerdiness, where I cover hypothetical tournament brackets, Amish friendship bread world dominanace, mathematical parlor tricks, and other vitally important stuff.  The point is: NERD!  I like numbers, and think about them in odd ways at times. 
 But this week, despite the hours of my life I've spent thinking about numbers big and small, I've encountered a number that I'm struggling to wrap my head around.  -43 °F.  This is a little bit funny, because I've operated furnaces at 3800 °F, and made ice cream using liquid nitrogen at -321 °F.  But really, we exist in a pretty small temperature range.  But somehow, I live in a place where the forecast HIGH temp for this next Monday is NEGATIVE 14 DEGREES.  Throw in wind chill and the entire day will feel like somewhere between 38 and 43 degrees below zero.  I don't even know what it means for it to feel that cold.  (Did we calibrate this system by sending a guy out in -40 degree weather, and then sending him into a -10 degree windy place and asking "how does this feel?")

I have seriously spent an unreasonable amount of time today just sitting in a stupor thinking "-43? really?".  Shannon tried to explain how cold it is to Julia, but she besides her weak understanding of temperature in general, she doesn't understand negative numbers at all.  She literally doesn't know what negative 14 even means.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need to start putting on some extra layers to get ready.