As my reader is well aware, I typically write up a handful of books at once and only write a paragraph or two about them. But some books are special, and Earth Unaware by Orson Scott Card and Aaron Johnston is one of those.
First off, books should be written by one person. Maybe there is some wiggle room for that in non-fiction sorts of stuff, but sci-fi is not a multiple author sort of genre. [Insert "too many cooks" analogy.] Similarly, the biggest thing on the cover of a book should be the name of the book, not the author's name (and certainly not half of the author's names). But no, we have ORSON SCOTT CARD across the top of the book with "and Aaron Johnston" below.
Now that I'm done judging the cover of the book (better artwork than anything from the Wheel of Time, at least), let's talk about the book. Simply put, its the back story to Ender's Game. Ender's Game mentions the First and Second Formic Wars in passing, but we don't ever really hear much about it. The story is one of events surrounding a couple of mining ships (one from the Exxon-Mobile of 23rd century asteroid mining, the other from the Yukon Cornelius of 23rd century asteroid mining) at the extreme outer reaches solar system. Necessarily, there is a lot of space ships zipping back and forth from here to there in the book, and that is when my head exploded.
I have read a lot of space ship books over the years, and never have I found one that so horribly and profoundly messes up the logistics of interplanetary travel by any sort of rocket-like propulsion system. (If you want a really good handling of all of this, go read Saturn Run.) I'm now going to write several paragraphs about space travel works from a basic physics standpoint. You've been warned.
The key thing to remember is that there is no such thing as absolute velocity - only relative velocity. When you say that you're in a car going 30 mph, what you mean is that you're going 30 mph with respect to the ground. We don't say this all the time, because we all understand what this means and we don't like saying more words than we have to. But while you're in that car, you're also on a planet that is spinning. The equator of the earth is about 24,000 miles around, and it spins once every 24 hours, for a very handy 1,000 miles per hour. (Multiply by the cosine of your latitude for the speed at your house. Santa Claus doesn't really move much at all in this sense, he just spins once a day in a very tiny circle.) But you don't notice this 1,000 mph motion, because everything around you is moving along with the earth (even the air). The earth is also going around the sun at about 67,000 mph, and the whole solar system is moving with respect to the center of the galaxy and so on. But the key here is that we only care about (or notice) the relative motion between the things that are interacting. Here's one more example. This weekend, while you're out on your private plane, take a ping-pong table with you and play some games. Play while you're sitting in the hangar, play while you're going 200 mph, play while you're going 500 mph. It's all the same! If the ride is sufficiently smooth, and you pipe in a bunch of extra noise while you're in the hangar, you can't even tell if you're moving at all! (Your private plane doesn't have any windows, right?) Anyway, this is a very basic physics. All those problems with dropping a ball or whatever work the same whether you're on a train or not.
Acceleration, however is different. You can very much tell when your private plane changes speed (or direction) which is exactly what acceleration is. Your whole body is equipped to notice that difference, from your ears to your gut you know what it feels like.
Now back to the book. In chapter after chapter the authors and the characters that have literally spent their entire lives in spaceships continually fail to grasp this concept. They keep insisting that they "stop" and "start" moving. On earth, a reasonable definition of "stopped" exists. In space, not so much. Furthermore, their reasons for "stopping" are stupid. Need to make some repairs? Better "stop" the whole ship. But why? Is it windy outside or something? There's no turbulence in space, so as long as your ship isn't accelerating, you can't tell if you're "moving" or not during your spacewalk. (Unless, of course, there is a planet or asteroid close enough to see while you're out there, but even in that case, it is just as true that you are stationary and it is moving away or towards you as it is true that it is stationary and you are the one moving.)
In the book there are two ships that have need to dock to transfer passengers, and they make a big deal about how dangerous it is to do it at high speeds. But that's stupid. If they're both going the same speed (the only sane way to "dock") then they're both stopped! Have you ever seen a shuttle dock with the International Space Station? It just slowly creeps up on the ISS, barely moving at all. But of course both the shuttle and the ISS are orbiting the earth at 17,000+ mph. They're going the same speed though, so none of that matters. After your ping pong game you can wow all your friends that you can return a serve that was traveling 500+ mph. (Just don't mention that your paddle, the table, and everything around you was also traveling the same speed.)
Now let's cover actually getting somewhere. If you are at an asteroid and want to get to a planet, you're probably going to need to change your speed or direction to get there, unless you're lucking enough to be standing on an asteroid that is on a collision course. (Perhaps not so lucky.) So you need to accelerate (change your speed or direction). Because you're a person, you can only accelerate so much at a time without dying so you have to be somewhat gradual about it. But the good news is that you can do it for as long as you want! Assuming you have unlimited fuel, the ideal way to travel is to turn on your rockets and accelerate at a reasonable rate for as long as you can to build up as much speed (relative to your destination) as you can. When you're about half way there, spin your engine around and start firing it backwards to start slowing yourself down (at the same reasonable rate) such that you come to a stop right as you reach your destination. That's the fastest way to get there. (Minor adjustments will need to be made to account for the gravitational pull of your starting and ending points and things like that, but the basic idea still holds.) Unfortunately in the book (did you start to forget this is a book review?) when a character needs to make an absolutely critical trip at the absolute fastest possible speed he not only keeps stopping to check on his ship, but slowing down and speeding back up again just to practice slowing down and speeding back up again. If you have the fuel keep speeding up! Every time he stops and then restarts, he could have just doubled his speed instead. While making a 7 month trip, this character "occasionally accelerated and decelerated simply to train his body to withstand the forces, increasing the speed of acceleration and deceleration a little more each time." And these acceleration periods were for at least 2 to 4 hours. 4 hours of accelerating at 1g can get you up to 315,000 mph, and the 4 hours you presumably spend slowing down before that represent another 315,000 mph that you slowed down to do your test. Each one of those tests is therefore wasting enough fuel to boost your speed 315,000 mph for your months long trip. (You will need that fuel at the end to slow down, probably.) The timeline given in the book suggests that the trip was made with an average speed of about 740,000 mph (order of magnitude estimates only here). All of this maneuvering would have very significantly increased the length of this trip, perhaps doubling or tripling it, on a mission that is supposed to be CRITICAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF ALL OF HUMANITY! Again, humans that have lived their entire lives on spaceships seem to have absolutely no grasp of the fastest or cheapest ways to travel through space.
Not pages after all this was going on, I encountered this physical atrocity: "I don't think it's photons. Their beams ... act differently than our lasers ... if they're using gamma plasma as propulsion, it's not far-fetched to suggest that they use coherent gamma rays as their weapons, too." Let's parse all of this. Photons are the smallest possible individual packets of light. Don't worry about it too much, just know that "photons = light". Lasers are also light. That's literally what the L in laser stands for. On to "gamma rays". Perhaps you've heard of them. They are extremely high energy radiation that is very bad for people and which has a tendency to come from space. (One of the reasons that being in space for long periods of time is bad for you.) But what type of radiation is "gamma" radiation? As it turns out, gamma particles are just high energy bits of light. Unless by the 23rd century we've completely restructured how we describe electromagnetic radiation, gamma radiation is just light. I have no idea what gamma plasma is supposed to be. Finally, the word coherent is exactly the word that is often used to describe lasers that we're all familiar with. It is the way laser light stays together instead of spreading out like the light from your lightbulbs. Coherent comes from a Latin word (cohaerent) meaning "sticking together". Ok, now lets go plug all of this in to the line from the book: "I don't think it's lasers. Their lasers ... act differently than our lasers ... if they're using laser plasma as propulsion, it's not far-fetched to suggest that they use lasers as their weapons, too." My head would have exploded, had it not already exploded previously multiple times.
Astoundingly bad physics aside, the book was ok. It doesn't even begin to come to a resolution of, well, anything by the end. It ought to be titled, "Earth Unaware, pt. 1". At 364 pages they could have doubled it up with the next one easily enough. Even if the science is awful, the writing isn't bad. I don't know if it is Card or Johnston who deserves most of the credit for that, but I assume Johnston - Card is definitely bringing the idea, the fans and the fame to the table here, so if Johnston wasn't doing most of the writing I don't know why he even gets his name on the book. (I do give Card the credit for the emphasis in the book on marriage and family relationships, a calling Card of his. (awful pun intended)) I'll probably keep reading the books, if only to see how they work in the only character in the story that I am really interested in, and who first appears on page 60 and last appears on page 73 of the book.
Ok. I think I've hacked apart the book sufficiently at this point. The fewer physics classes you've taken the better you'll do, I'm sure. And really, I think at this point if you're considering reading the 12th book in the Enderverse, you're probably going to make up your mind without any input from me anyway.
Tuesday, December 26
Saturday, December 16
Christmas Ornament #14: Nativity
This year's ornament matches our Wise Guys from two years ago:
This is clearly an action shot from the tree, but you can see Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. We picked these ones over the set of three angels, so maybe Target will still have this line going next year and we can continue to augment our nativity set.
This is clearly an action shot from the tree, but you can see Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. We picked these ones over the set of three angels, so maybe Target will still have this line going next year and we can continue to augment our nativity set.
Thursday, December 14
Christmas Ornament #13: Violin and Angel
This is a year late, but with the frequency that most people read my blog, who will even notice?
We went to the Naperville Christkindlmarkt (you know, back when we lived in Illinois) and looked through all the over priced stuff there. You see, when you're as cheap as us, everything feels over-priced. Anyway, Julia really wanted to get a violin because she started playing the violin last year. Of course that left Ella feeling left out, so we let her pick a second ornament, which turned out to be the little tiny angel with the harp. So, I guess we're commemorating Julia's musical achievement and Ella's complete dominance of every aspect of our family.
We went to the Naperville Christkindlmarkt (you know, back when we lived in Illinois) and looked through all the over priced stuff there. You see, when you're as cheap as us, everything feels over-priced. Anyway, Julia really wanted to get a violin because she started playing the violin last year. Of course that left Ella feeling left out, so we let her pick a second ornament, which turned out to be the little tiny angel with the harp. So, I guess we're commemorating Julia's musical achievement and Ella's complete dominance of every aspect of our family.
Wednesday, December 13
December books
Unemployed = more time to read.
Things to Make and Do in the 4th Dimension: A Mathematicians Journey Through Narcissistic Numbers, Optimal Dating Algorithms, at Least Two Kinds of Infinity and More by Matt Parker
I think that title just about explains it. Matt Parker is a funny Brit who makes Youtube videos about "Maths". I read this right after "How Not to Be Wrong" by Jordan Ellenberg. While Ellenberg's book is much more about the usefulness of math in life, Parker focuses on math that is interesting simply because it is interesting. At this point, many people would say, "math isn't interesting," to which I reply, "don't read this book". Even for me, the chapters describing higher dimensional geometry got a bit long, but Parker is a funny guy, and I like math, so I still liked his book.
The Aeronaut's Windlass by Jim Butcher
The back cover of this book describes this fantasy world as "steampunk pirate blimps" or something like that, which I thought was the perfect description, though apparently not perfect enough for me to remember the exact wording. It's your classic Sci-Fi/Fantasy set up of some young adults being in the wrong/right place at the right/wrong time, and getting mixed up in the start of a war, and being sent on a secret mission now that they're involved. This is the first, and thus far only, book in a series. It was pretty interesting. There are sentient cats that can talk - though they only speak Cat, of course, and no cat would ever stoop to learning to speak human, so if you want to talk to them, you'll have to learn Cat. There are also a few wizard-types whose sensitivity to "the force" (if you will) has the side effect of making them very batty. Worth reading if you're into that sort of book.
Children of the Fleet by Orson Scott Card
Not worth reading, even if you are into that sort of book. Apparently Card has decided to write yet another book in the Enderverse. I suppose he needed to buy some more dark chocolate and bird seed. The book takes place a handful of years after the end of Ender's Game, where Battle School has been re-branded as Fleet School. The kids aren't quite as young, and it isn't training kids for combat, but for leading fleet colonization expeditions. It's also exclusively for the kids of people who are in the IF, or at least live in space, not the earthbound folk. Ender Dabeet Ochoa who was so unmemorable that I had to look up his last name despite finishing the book less than a week ago. He's super smart, but also arrogant and oblivious to the fact that he's arrogant and the no one likes him. He's been raised on earth by his mother, who won't tell him anything about his father other than that he's in the IF. (Surprise, it's end up being just who you'd guess!) Anyway, of course he gets caught up in an elaborate plot and has to work with other kids to save the day. From the start, I found the plot uninteresting and was literally waiting for the initial problem to be resolved or shown to really be about something else. Nope, turns out that's really what the plot was. Dabeet was in danger, but I didn't care enough about him, or anyone else, to care about the plot. Huge portions of the book are just Dabeet by himself trying to figure out how to get along with humans, or perhaps discussing the same with at most one other person.
I give Card a lot of leeway on books, particularly Ender related books. I like most of his Enderverse books (Ender in Exile, for example) more than many. But Children of the Fleet just isn't very good. It's not funny, and it's certainly not action packed.
The Lost City of Z by David Grann
In the early 20th century, there were few places on Earth left to explore. The North Pole, the South Pole and the Amazon Rain forest (remember Teddy Roosevelt going down the River of Doubt?). Englishman Percy Fawcett was one of the premier jungle explorers, who managed to explore his way through places no one else had ever been, and do it quicker than ever expected. He believed in small expeditions, non-violence toward natives and keep up a grueling pace. Over his many years in the jungle based on stories from natives and early explorers he became convinced that the Amazon had the remains of a great civilization and great city (which he simply called 'Z'). Essentially, he was looking for Eldorado, but not as a mythical city paved with gold, but as real ruins (which would probably have some gold, too). Of course, his story ends with him disappearing into the jungle never to be seen again. Given his unparalleled ability to get in and out of the rain forest unscathed, and never getting sick, people waited for years for him to emerge. Then they started searching for him. But no remains were ever found. In addition to telling the story, the author, of course, also heads to the Amazon believing that he finally has enough information to figure out what happened to Fawcett and his two companions. The book was pretty good. At the end the author finally gets around to giving a some current academic analysis of some of the things that lead Fawcett to believe there was an ancient city to search for, and I wish there had been a lot more included. The book was made into a movie which was going to star Brad Pitt, until it wasn't, and then was going to star Benedict Cumberbuffle, until it didn't, and finally did star someone I've never heard of. Evidently it got good reviews, but no one actually went to see it. As a final comment, my copy of the book (won at the monthly trivia night) includes the typical snippets of reviews from newspapers - 6 pages and 40 reviews worth! As if I wasn't convinced about whether or not I should read the book until finally after 5 and a half pages of reviews, I saw that someone from the Toronto Dispatch called it "enthralling!".
Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
Are there books out there about botanists getting kidnapped and ending up on world altering adventures? I don't think I've ever read one. But here is another one where it happens to a physicist. (Remember Influx from last month?) It's difficult to talk much about this book without giving away huge portions of the plot. But mild-mannered physics professor man is kidnapped by a masked man one evening, drugged and then wakes up in a world that isn't his own. Suddenly he doesn't seem to be married, have a son, or teach physics. Instead he is involved with a private research company and a bunch of people that he has never met. After deciding that he isn't completely crazy, he sets about to find out what happened to his world. If you're looking for a science fiction book that isn't afraid to go deep down the multi-verse worm hole, this book is for you. It is at times action packed, but at other times very introspective about what makes you, you, and how we both define our actions and are defined by them.
Things to Make and Do in the 4th Dimension: A Mathematicians Journey Through Narcissistic Numbers, Optimal Dating Algorithms, at Least Two Kinds of Infinity and More by Matt Parker
I think that title just about explains it. Matt Parker is a funny Brit who makes Youtube videos about "Maths". I read this right after "How Not to Be Wrong" by Jordan Ellenberg. While Ellenberg's book is much more about the usefulness of math in life, Parker focuses on math that is interesting simply because it is interesting. At this point, many people would say, "math isn't interesting," to which I reply, "don't read this book". Even for me, the chapters describing higher dimensional geometry got a bit long, but Parker is a funny guy, and I like math, so I still liked his book.
The Aeronaut's Windlass by Jim Butcher
The back cover of this book describes this fantasy world as "steampunk pirate blimps" or something like that, which I thought was the perfect description, though apparently not perfect enough for me to remember the exact wording. It's your classic Sci-Fi/Fantasy set up of some young adults being in the wrong/right place at the right/wrong time, and getting mixed up in the start of a war, and being sent on a secret mission now that they're involved. This is the first, and thus far only, book in a series. It was pretty interesting. There are sentient cats that can talk - though they only speak Cat, of course, and no cat would ever stoop to learning to speak human, so if you want to talk to them, you'll have to learn Cat. There are also a few wizard-types whose sensitivity to "the force" (if you will) has the side effect of making them very batty. Worth reading if you're into that sort of book.
Children of the Fleet by Orson Scott Card
Not worth reading, even if you are into that sort of book. Apparently Card has decided to write yet another book in the Enderverse. I suppose he needed to buy some more dark chocolate and bird seed. The book takes place a handful of years after the end of Ender's Game, where Battle School has been re-branded as Fleet School. The kids aren't quite as young, and it isn't training kids for combat, but for leading fleet colonization expeditions. It's also exclusively for the kids of people who are in the IF, or at least live in space, not the earthbound folk. Ender Dabeet Ochoa who was so unmemorable that I had to look up his last name despite finishing the book less than a week ago. He's super smart, but also arrogant and oblivious to the fact that he's arrogant and the no one likes him. He's been raised on earth by his mother, who won't tell him anything about his father other than that he's in the IF. (Surprise, it's end up being just who you'd guess!) Anyway, of course he gets caught up in an elaborate plot and has to work with other kids to save the day. From the start, I found the plot uninteresting and was literally waiting for the initial problem to be resolved or shown to really be about something else. Nope, turns out that's really what the plot was. Dabeet was in danger, but I didn't care enough about him, or anyone else, to care about the plot. Huge portions of the book are just Dabeet by himself trying to figure out how to get along with humans, or perhaps discussing the same with at most one other person.
I give Card a lot of leeway on books, particularly Ender related books. I like most of his Enderverse books (Ender in Exile, for example) more than many. But Children of the Fleet just isn't very good. It's not funny, and it's certainly not action packed.
The Lost City of Z by David Grann
In the early 20th century, there were few places on Earth left to explore. The North Pole, the South Pole and the Amazon Rain forest (remember Teddy Roosevelt going down the River of Doubt?). Englishman Percy Fawcett was one of the premier jungle explorers, who managed to explore his way through places no one else had ever been, and do it quicker than ever expected. He believed in small expeditions, non-violence toward natives and keep up a grueling pace. Over his many years in the jungle based on stories from natives and early explorers he became convinced that the Amazon had the remains of a great civilization and great city (which he simply called 'Z'). Essentially, he was looking for Eldorado, but not as a mythical city paved with gold, but as real ruins (which would probably have some gold, too). Of course, his story ends with him disappearing into the jungle never to be seen again. Given his unparalleled ability to get in and out of the rain forest unscathed, and never getting sick, people waited for years for him to emerge. Then they started searching for him. But no remains were ever found. In addition to telling the story, the author, of course, also heads to the Amazon believing that he finally has enough information to figure out what happened to Fawcett and his two companions. The book was pretty good. At the end the author finally gets around to giving a some current academic analysis of some of the things that lead Fawcett to believe there was an ancient city to search for, and I wish there had been a lot more included. The book was made into a movie which was going to star Brad Pitt, until it wasn't, and then was going to star Benedict Cumberbuffle, until it didn't, and finally did star someone I've never heard of. Evidently it got good reviews, but no one actually went to see it. As a final comment, my copy of the book (won at the monthly trivia night) includes the typical snippets of reviews from newspapers - 6 pages and 40 reviews worth! As if I wasn't convinced about whether or not I should read the book until finally after 5 and a half pages of reviews, I saw that someone from the Toronto Dispatch called it "enthralling!".
Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
Are there books out there about botanists getting kidnapped and ending up on world altering adventures? I don't think I've ever read one. But here is another one where it happens to a physicist. (Remember Influx from last month?) It's difficult to talk much about this book without giving away huge portions of the plot. But mild-mannered physics professor man is kidnapped by a masked man one evening, drugged and then wakes up in a world that isn't his own. Suddenly he doesn't seem to be married, have a son, or teach physics. Instead he is involved with a private research company and a bunch of people that he has never met. After deciding that he isn't completely crazy, he sets about to find out what happened to his world. If you're looking for a science fiction book that isn't afraid to go deep down the multi-verse worm hole, this book is for you. It is at times action packed, but at other times very introspective about what makes you, you, and how we both define our actions and are defined by them.
Monday, December 11
I've Got Plenty to be Thankful For
Sometime around Thanksgiving, I found a sheet of paper in Julia's backpack. The rows on the paper are numbered from 1 to 27, and there are four columns. I spent a little while trying to figure out what the first few lines meant.
1. Life Grammie Colonal +
2. Ella Opa Caffay -
3. Dad Gramma DQ Sicors (scissors?)
It had me in quite a quandary, wondering if somehow Grandma and myself had been disqualified for something to do with scissors. (And had Grammie received a promotion to Colonel?) Thankfully, someone set me straight that this was Julia's list of things she was thankful for, and that after hitting number 27, she had just moved on to column 2, and then 3 and 4.
I'm not going to type out the entire list for you here, but I wanted to share some of it, along with a few of my thoughts. So, here it is. Things Julia is Thankful for, 2017:
1. Life
2. Ella
3. Dad [yay, I beat mom!]
4. Mom
5. Math [how did math beat out reading? She loves to read!]
6. Reading [ah, there it is.]
7. Books
8. Books
9. Books
10. Books [that's my Julia]
11. Sleep
12. Health
13. Mountain
14. Friends
15-20. Various friends and cousins
21. Food [clearly she gets this from me. Shannon would have food in the top 5 for sure]
22. Water
23. Life
24. Church
25. Violin
28-36. Grandparents and more cousins
37. TV
40. Books
48. Dad [my inclusion up at number 3 might have been an error]
49. The Periodic
50. Table of
51. Elements [extra special, so it gets three lines]
52. Helium
53. Food
54. Soda
60. Snuggling
70. BOM
71. Bible
72. D&C
73. PoGP
74. Love
80-83. × ÷ + - [maybe for an upcoming post I'll rank my favorite mathematical operators]
90. Book
91. Book
92. House
103. (Grandma Diane) [The last entry as she ran out of room on the page. That's my mom. I'm not sure why she's in parenthesis, but that's what Julia wrote.]
In all, it's a pretty good list, from a pretty great daughter.
1. Life Grammie Colonal +
2. Ella Opa Caffay -
3. Dad Gramma DQ Sicors (scissors?)
It had me in quite a quandary, wondering if somehow Grandma and myself had been disqualified for something to do with scissors. (And had Grammie received a promotion to Colonel?) Thankfully, someone set me straight that this was Julia's list of things she was thankful for, and that after hitting number 27, she had just moved on to column 2, and then 3 and 4.
I'm not going to type out the entire list for you here, but I wanted to share some of it, along with a few of my thoughts. So, here it is. Things Julia is Thankful for, 2017:
1. Life
2. Ella
3. Dad [yay, I beat mom!]
4. Mom
5. Math [how did math beat out reading? She loves to read!]
6. Reading [ah, there it is.]
7. Books
8. Books
9. Books
10. Books [that's my Julia]
11. Sleep
12. Health
13. Mountain
14. Friends
15-20. Various friends and cousins
21. Food [clearly she gets this from me. Shannon would have food in the top 5 for sure]
22. Water
23. Life
24. Church
25. Violin
28-36. Grandparents and more cousins
37. TV
40. Books
48. Dad [my inclusion up at number 3 might have been an error]
49. The Periodic
50. Table of
51. Elements [extra special, so it gets three lines]
52. Helium
53. Food
54. Soda
60. Snuggling
70. BOM
71. Bible
72. D&C
73. PoGP
74. Love
80-83. × ÷ + - [maybe for an upcoming post I'll rank my favorite mathematical operators]
90. Book
91. Book
92. House
103. (Grandma Diane) [The last entry as she ran out of room on the page. That's my mom. I'm not sure why she's in parenthesis, but that's what Julia wrote.]
In all, it's a pretty good list, from a pretty great daughter.
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