Thursday, January 18

2017 Review: Books

18 days into the new year seems like a good time to finally get around to wrapping up the year. As usual, I'll have lots of numbers and lots of words, because I like to use both of those things a lot.

I read 35 books totaling 14,856 pages last year, and I wrote up a few thoughts on all but one of them here on my blog, so my devoted reader will already be familiar with them. The many reviews can be found here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. Those totals are slightly higher than last year and are both records over the last 5 years that our family has been tracking every single book we read.

On the family level, we also had a record year as Team Blockburger (I'd call us Team Bookburger, but apparently but that name is already taken) combined for 606 books and 130,331 pages. Julia was actually down slightly from last year (though still topping 70,000 pages), but Ella doubled her output (after quadrupling it the year before) to top 32,000 pages read.

Next, a pie chart:

I don't generally like to distinguish between science fiction and fantasy. They're both stories that couldn't happen in the world as we know it, but for some reason swords and magic means fantasy, while space ships and warp drives means science fiction. But isn't the Force magic? So Star Wars is fantasy, right? Same for Star Trek and it's mind reading (those crazy Betazoids) and the godlike Q. And since any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic ... well, there we are. But for the sake of having a pie chart with more than 3 categories, I split them up. I also take issue with the classification of any book as "Non-Fiction". Let's describe things for what they are, and not for what they are not.

Now let's hand out some fictional awards that I'm thinking up right on the spot.

Shortest book: The Pig Did It by Joseph Caldwell, 195 pages. (close second, Fletch by Gregory Mcdonald, 197 pages)

Longest book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling, 759 pages, First Lord's Fury by Jim Butcher, 759 pages (tie). (close third, The Aeronaut's Windlass by Jim Butcher, 751 pages)

Longest review: Earth Unaware by Orson Scott Card and Aaron Johnston, 2008 words. Yes, I got too worked up over that one.

Shortest review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by JK Rowling, 79 words. Probably 79 words more than were needed.

[aside: My review of Fletch was 82 words, I really wanted Things to Make and Do in the 4th Dimension: A Mathematician's Journey Through Narcissistic Numbers, Optimal Dating Algorithms, at Least Two Kinds of Infinity and More by Matt Parker to win, simply because the title of the book is 26 words itself, but even without counting the title, I managed to write 105 words about it.]

Most Read Authors
1. Jim Butcher, 7 books, 4346 pages. (Codex Alera, one Harry Dresden, and that Aeronaut book)
2. Orson Scott Card, 3 books, 1006 pages. (Apparently he still gets #2 on my list after all these years. he had a co-author on one of those books though.)
3. John Scalzi, 3 books, 943 pages. (Old Man's War trilogy)
4. JK Rowling, 2 books, 1411 pages. (I guess we're going by number of books, not pages?)
5. Brandon Sanderson, 2 books, 678 pages. (I request that he write faster.)

Now for what you're really excited for, the best and worst books of the year. For my initial sorting of the books, I just divided them into thirds – I'm not interested in ranking all them, just finding the best and the worst. So, I attempted 3 groups of roughly 12. Instead, I ended up with 4 in the lowest category, 11 in the middle and 20 in the top group. (The top group comes down to a more manageable 13 if I collapse each series into a single entry.) So, let's start with the bad:

Worst Books of the Year
4. The Pig Did It by Joseph Caldwell – Young man "finding himself" in Ireland. Yawn.
3. The Color of Magic by Terry Pratchett – A very silly fantasy book. Maybe if I was in the right mood ....
2. Children of the Fleet by Orson Scott Card – Orson mails another one in.
1. In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larsen – The rise of the Nazis through the lens of a boring diplomat.

Best Books of the Year
5. The Girl in the Spiders Web by David Lagercrantz. Book 4 in the "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" series (officially called the Millennium books) which was started by Stieg Larsson who died after completing the first 3 books. This is the only book from 2017 that I haven't reviewed, because apparently I forgot. The weakest of the 4 books thus far, but still good.
4. The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. As a collection of his writings and not an intentionally written cohesive book there are some weaknesses to this book jumping from section to section. It also doesn't cover many aspects of his life at all. However, the importance and power in his writings about equality and non-violence cannot be understated.
3. Grandma Gatewood's Walk by Ben Montgomery. Old lady goes on a walk – a long walk. But this was one of those books that made me want to go out and do it. And if a grandma can do it in a pair of Keds and a homemade canvas bag over her shoulder, why can't I?
2. How Not to be Wrong by Jordan Ellenberg. An excellent example of the importance of mathematical thinking in nearly every aspect of our lives.
1. The Codex Alera Series by Jim Butcher. The Fury series, starting with Furies of Calderon. This is 6 books which sucked me in pretty good. It's a relatively typical fantasy series, but well written. This made it to the number one spot primarily because of how much I wanted to keep reading while I was in the middle of the series.





Tuesday, December 26

Earth Unaware book review

As my reader is well aware, I typically write up a handful of books at once and only write a paragraph or two about them. But some books are special, and Earth Unaware by Orson Scott Card and Aaron Johnston is one of those.

First off, books should be written by one person. Maybe there is some wiggle room for that in non-fiction sorts of stuff, but sci-fi is not a multiple author sort of genre. [Insert "too many cooks" analogy.] Similarly, the biggest thing on the cover of a book should be the name of the book, not the author's name (and certainly not half of the author's names). But no, we have ORSON SCOTT CARD across the top of the book with "and Aaron Johnston" below.

Now that I'm done judging the cover of the book (better artwork than anything from the Wheel of Time, at least), let's talk about the book. Simply put, its the back story to Ender's Game. Ender's Game mentions the First and Second Formic Wars in passing, but we don't ever really hear much about it. The story is one of events surrounding a couple of mining ships (one from the Exxon-Mobile of 23rd century asteroid mining, the other from the Yukon Cornelius of 23rd century asteroid mining) at the extreme outer reaches solar system. Necessarily, there is a lot of space ships zipping back and forth from here to there in the book, and that is when my head exploded.

I have read a lot of space ship books over the years, and never have I found one that so horribly and profoundly messes up the logistics of interplanetary travel by any sort of rocket-like propulsion system. (If you want a really good handling of all of this, go read Saturn Run.) I'm now going to write several paragraphs about space travel works from a basic physics standpoint. You've been warned.

The key thing to remember is that there is no such thing as absolute velocity - only relative velocity. When you say that you're in a car going 30 mph, what you mean is that you're going 30 mph with respect to the ground. We don't say this all the time, because we all understand what this means and we don't like saying more words than we have to. But while you're in that car, you're also on a planet that is spinning. The equator of the earth is about 24,000 miles around, and it spins once every 24 hours, for a very handy 1,000 miles per hour. (Multiply by the cosine of your latitude for the speed at your house. Santa Claus doesn't really move much at all in this sense, he just spins once a day in a very tiny circle.) But you don't notice this 1,000 mph motion, because everything around you is moving along with the earth (even the air). The earth is also going around the sun at about 67,000 mph, and the whole solar system is moving with respect to the center of the galaxy and so on. But the key here is that we only care about (or notice) the relative motion between the things that are interacting. Here's one more example. This weekend, while you're out on your private plane, take a ping-pong table with you and play some games. Play while you're sitting in the hangar, play while you're going 200 mph, play while you're going 500 mph. It's all the same! If the ride is sufficiently smooth, and you pipe in a bunch of extra noise while you're in the hangar, you can't even tell if you're moving at all! (Your private plane doesn't have any windows, right?) Anyway, this is a very basic physics. All those problems with dropping a ball or whatever work the same whether you're on a train or not.

Acceleration, however is different. You can very much tell when your private plane changes speed (or direction) which is exactly what acceleration is. Your whole body is equipped to notice that difference, from your ears to your gut you know what it feels like.

Now back to the book. In chapter after chapter the authors and the characters that have literally spent their entire lives in spaceships continually fail to grasp this concept. They keep insisting that they "stop" and "start" moving. On earth, a reasonable definition of "stopped" exists. In space, not so much. Furthermore, their reasons for "stopping" are stupid. Need to make some repairs? Better "stop" the whole ship. But why? Is it windy outside or something? There's no turbulence in space, so as long as your ship isn't accelerating, you can't tell if you're "moving" or not during your spacewalk. (Unless, of course, there is a planet or asteroid close enough to see while you're out there, but even in that case, it is just as true that you are stationary and it is moving away or towards you as it is true that it is stationary and you are the one moving.)

In the book there are two ships that have need to dock to transfer passengers, and they make a big deal about how dangerous it is to do it at high speeds. But that's stupid. If they're both going the same speed (the only sane way to "dock") then they're both stopped! Have you ever seen a shuttle dock with the International Space Station? It just slowly creeps up on the ISS, barely moving at all. But of course both the shuttle and the ISS are orbiting the earth at 17,000+ mph. They're going the same speed though, so none of that matters. After your ping pong game you can wow all your friends that you can return a serve that was traveling 500+ mph. (Just don't mention that your paddle, the table, and everything around you was also traveling the same speed.)

Now let's cover actually getting somewhere. If you are at an asteroid and want to get to a planet, you're probably going to need to change your speed or direction to get there, unless you're lucking enough to be standing on an asteroid that is on a collision course. (Perhaps not so lucky.) So you need to accelerate (change your speed or direction). Because you're a person, you can only accelerate so much at a time without dying so you have to be somewhat gradual about it. But the good news is that you can do it for as long as you want! Assuming you have unlimited fuel, the ideal way to travel is to turn on your rockets and accelerate at a reasonable rate for as long as you can to build up as much speed (relative to your destination) as you can. When you're about half way there, spin your engine around and start firing it backwards to start slowing yourself down (at the same reasonable rate) such that you come to a stop right as you reach your destination. That's the fastest way to get there. (Minor adjustments will need to be made to account for the gravitational pull of your starting and ending points and things like that, but the basic idea still holds.) Unfortunately in the book (did you start to forget this is a book review?) when a character needs to make an absolutely critical trip at the absolute fastest possible speed he not only keeps stopping to check on his ship, but slowing down and speeding back up again just to practice slowing down and speeding back up again. If you have the fuel keep speeding up! Every time he stops and then restarts, he could have just doubled his speed instead. While making a 7 month trip, this character "occasionally accelerated and decelerated simply to train his body to withstand the forces, increasing the speed of acceleration and deceleration a little more each time." And these acceleration periods were for at least 2 to 4 hours. 4 hours of accelerating at 1g can get you up to 315,000 mph, and the 4 hours you presumably spend slowing down before that represent another 315,000 mph that you slowed down to do your test. Each one of those tests is therefore wasting enough fuel to boost your speed 315,000 mph for your months long trip. (You will need that fuel at the end to slow down, probably.) The timeline given in the book suggests that the trip was made with an average speed of about 740,000 mph (order of magnitude estimates only here). All of this maneuvering would have very significantly increased the length of this trip, perhaps doubling or tripling it, on a mission that is supposed to be CRITICAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF ALL OF HUMANITY! Again, humans that have lived their entire lives on spaceships seem to have absolutely no grasp of the fastest or cheapest ways to travel through space.

Not pages after all this was going on, I encountered this physical atrocity: "I don't think it's photons. Their beams ... act differently than our lasers ... if they're using gamma plasma as propulsion, it's not far-fetched to suggest that they use coherent gamma rays as their weapons, too." Let's parse all of this. Photons are the smallest possible individual packets of light. Don't worry about it too much, just know that "photons = light". Lasers are also light. That's literally what the L in laser stands for. On to "gamma rays". Perhaps you've heard of them. They are extremely high energy radiation that is very bad for people and which has a tendency to come from space. (One of the reasons that being in space for long periods of time is bad for you.) But what type of radiation is "gamma" radiation? As it turns out, gamma particles are just high energy bits of light. Unless by the 23rd century we've completely restructured how we describe electromagnetic radiation, gamma radiation is just light. I have no idea what gamma plasma is supposed to be. Finally, the word coherent is exactly the word that is often used to describe lasers that we're all familiar with. It is the way laser light stays together instead of spreading out like the light from your lightbulbs. Coherent comes from a Latin word (cohaerent) meaning "sticking together". Ok, now lets go plug all of this in to the line from the book: "I don't think it's lasers. Their lasers ... act differently than our lasers ... if they're using laser plasma as propulsion, it's not far-fetched to suggest that they use lasers as their weapons, too." My head would have exploded, had it not already exploded previously multiple times.

Astoundingly bad physics aside, the book was ok. It doesn't even begin to come to a resolution of, well, anything by the end. It ought to be titled, "Earth Unaware, pt. 1". At 364 pages they could have doubled it up with the next one easily enough. Even if the science is awful, the writing isn't bad. I don't know if it is Card or Johnston who deserves most of the credit for that, but I assume Johnston - Card is definitely bringing the idea, the fans and the fame to the table here, so if Johnston wasn't doing most of the writing I don't know why he even gets his name on the book. (I do give Card the credit for the emphasis in the book on marriage and family relationships, a calling Card of his. (awful pun intended)) I'll probably keep reading the books, if only to see how they work in the only character in the story that I am really interested in, and who first appears on page 60 and last appears on page 73 of the book.

Ok. I think I've hacked apart the book sufficiently at this point. The fewer physics classes you've taken the better you'll do, I'm sure. And really, I think at this point if you're considering reading the 12th book in the Enderverse, you're probably going to make up your mind without any input from me anyway.

Saturday, December 16

Christmas Ornament #14: Nativity

This year's ornament matches our Wise Guys from two years ago:


This is clearly an action shot from the tree, but you can see Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. We picked these ones over the set of three angels, so maybe Target will still have this line going next year and we can continue to augment our nativity set.

Thursday, December 14

Christmas Ornament #13: Violin and Angel

This is a year late, but with the frequency that most people read my blog, who will even notice?

We went to the Naperville Christkindlmarkt (you know, back when we lived in Illinois) and looked through all the over priced stuff there. You see, when you're as cheap as us, everything feels over-priced. Anyway, Julia really wanted to get a violin because she started playing the violin last year. Of course that left Ella feeling left out, so we let her pick a second ornament, which turned out to be the little tiny angel with the harp. So, I guess we're commemorating Julia's musical achievement and Ella's complete dominance of every aspect of our family.

Wednesday, December 13

December books

Unemployed = more time to read.

Things to Make and Do in the 4th Dimension: A Mathematicians Journey Through Narcissistic Numbers, Optimal Dating Algorithms, at Least Two Kinds of Infinity and More by Matt Parker

I think that title just about explains it. Matt Parker is a funny Brit who makes Youtube videos about "Maths". I read this right after "How Not to Be Wrong" by Jordan Ellenberg. While Ellenberg's book is much more about the usefulness of math in life, Parker focuses on math that is interesting simply because it is interesting. At this point, many people would say, "math isn't interesting," to which I reply, "don't read this book". Even for me, the chapters describing higher dimensional geometry got a bit long, but Parker is a funny guy, and I like math, so I still liked his book.

The Aeronaut's Windlass by Jim Butcher
The back cover of this book describes this fantasy world as "steampunk pirate blimps" or something like that, which I thought was the perfect description, though apparently not perfect enough for me to remember the exact wording. It's your classic Sci-Fi/Fantasy set up of some young adults being in the wrong/right place at the right/wrong time, and getting mixed up in the start of a war, and being sent on a secret mission now that they're involved. This is the first, and thus far only, book in a series. It was pretty interesting. There are sentient cats that can talk - though they only speak Cat, of course, and no cat would ever stoop to learning to speak human, so if you want to talk to them, you'll have to learn Cat. There are also a few wizard-types whose sensitivity to "the force" (if you will) has the side effect of making them very batty. Worth reading if you're into that sort of book.

Children of the Fleet by Orson Scott Card
Not worth reading, even if you are into that sort of book. Apparently Card has decided to write yet another book in the Enderverse. I suppose he needed to buy some more dark chocolate and bird seed. The book takes place a handful of years after the end of Ender's Game, where Battle School has been re-branded as Fleet School. The kids aren't quite as young, and it isn't training kids for combat, but for leading fleet colonization expeditions. It's also exclusively for the kids of people who are in the IF, or at least live in space, not the earthbound folk. Ender Dabeet Ochoa who was so unmemorable that I had to look up his last name despite finishing the book less than a week ago. He's super smart, but also arrogant and oblivious to the fact that he's arrogant and the no one likes him. He's been raised on earth by his mother, who won't tell him anything about his father other than that he's in the IF. (Surprise, it's end up being just who you'd guess!) Anyway, of course he gets caught up in an elaborate plot and has to work with other kids to save the day. From the start, I found the plot uninteresting and was literally waiting for the initial problem to be resolved or shown to really be about something else. Nope, turns out that's really what the plot was. Dabeet was in danger, but I didn't care enough about him, or anyone else, to care about the plot. Huge portions of the book are just Dabeet by himself trying to figure out how to get along with humans, or perhaps discussing the same with at most one other person.

I give Card a lot of leeway on books, particularly Ender related books. I like most of his Enderverse books (Ender in Exile, for example) more than many. But Children of the Fleet just isn't very good. It's not funny, and it's certainly not action packed.

The Lost City of Z by David Grann
In the early 20th century, there were few places on Earth left to explore. The North Pole, the South Pole and the Amazon Rain forest (remember Teddy Roosevelt going down the River of Doubt?). Englishman Percy Fawcett was one of the premier jungle explorers, who managed to explore his way through places no one else had ever been, and do it quicker than ever expected. He believed in small expeditions, non-violence toward natives and keep up a grueling pace. Over his many years in the jungle based on stories from natives and early explorers he became convinced that the Amazon had the remains of a great civilization and great city (which he simply called 'Z'). Essentially, he was looking for Eldorado, but not as a mythical city paved with gold, but as real ruins (which would probably have some gold, too). Of course, his story ends with him disappearing into the jungle never to be seen again. Given his unparalleled ability to get in and out of the rain forest unscathed, and never getting sick, people waited for years for him to emerge. Then they started searching for him. But no remains were ever found. In addition to telling the story, the author, of course, also heads to the Amazon believing that he finally has enough information to figure out what happened to Fawcett and his two companions. The book was pretty good. At the end the author finally gets around to giving a some current academic analysis of some of the things that lead Fawcett to believe there was an ancient city to search for, and I wish there had been a lot more included. The book was made into a movie which was going to star Brad Pitt, until it wasn't, and then was going to star Benedict Cumberbuffle, until it didn't, and finally did star someone I've never heard of. Evidently it got good reviews, but no one actually went to see it. As a final comment, my copy of the book (won at the monthly trivia night) includes the typical snippets of reviews from newspapers - 6 pages and 40 reviews worth! As if I wasn't convinced about whether or not I should read the book until finally after 5 and a half pages of reviews, I saw that someone from the Toronto Dispatch called it "enthralling!".

Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
Are there books out there about botanists getting kidnapped and ending up on world altering adventures? I don't think I've ever read one. But here is another one where it happens to a physicist. (Remember Influx from last month?) It's difficult to talk much about this book without giving away huge portions of the plot. But mild-mannered physics professor man is kidnapped by a masked man one evening, drugged and then wakes up in a world that isn't his own. Suddenly he doesn't seem to be married, have a son, or teach physics. Instead he is involved with a private research company and a bunch of people that he has never met. After deciding that he isn't completely crazy, he sets about to find out what happened to his world. If you're looking for a science fiction book that isn't afraid to go deep down the multi-verse worm hole, this book is for you. It is at times action packed, but at other times very introspective about what makes you, you, and how we both define our actions and are defined by them.


Monday, December 11

I've Got Plenty to be Thankful For

Sometime around Thanksgiving, I found a sheet of paper in Julia's backpack. The rows on the paper are numbered from 1 to 27, and there are four columns. I spent a little while trying to figure out what the first few lines meant.

1. Life         Grammie          Colonal          +
2. Ella         Opa                   Caffay            -
3. Dad         Gramma           DQ                 Sicors (scissors?)

It had me in quite a quandary, wondering if somehow Grandma and myself had been disqualified for something to do with scissors. (And had Grammie received a promotion to Colonel?) Thankfully, someone set me straight that this was Julia's list of things she was thankful for, and that after hitting number 27, she had just moved on to column 2, and then 3 and 4.

I'm not going to type out the entire list for you here, but I wanted to share some of it, along with a few of my thoughts. So, here it is. Things Julia is Thankful for, 2017:

1. Life
2. Ella
3. Dad [yay, I beat mom!]
4. Mom
5. Math [how did math beat out reading? She loves to read!]
6. Reading [ah, there it is.]
7. Books
8. Books
9. Books
10. Books [that's my Julia]
11. Sleep
12. Health
13. Mountain
14. Friends
15-20. Various friends and cousins
21. Food [clearly she gets this from me. Shannon would have food in the top 5 for sure]
22. Water
23. Life
24. Church
25. Violin
28-36. Grandparents and more cousins
37. TV
40. Books
48. Dad [my inclusion up at number 3 might have been an error]
49. The Periodic
50. Table of
51. Elements [extra special, so it gets three lines]
52. Helium
53. Food
54. Soda
60. Snuggling
70. BOM
71. Bible
72. D&C
73. PoGP
74. Love
80-83. × ÷ + - [maybe for an upcoming post I'll rank my favorite mathematical operators]
90. Book
91. Book
92. House
103. (Grandma Diane) [The last entry as she ran out of room on the page. That's my mom. I'm not sure why she's in parenthesis, but that's what Julia wrote.]

In all, it's a pretty good list, from a pretty great daughter.

Friday, November 17

November Books

Cursor's Fury by Jim Butcher
Captain's Fury by Jim Butcher
First Lord's Fury by Jim Butcher
Books 4, 5 and 6 in a series. I've already mentioned books 1, 2 and 3 in previous posts, so really there isn't anything left to say. The series ended reasonably well.

Wyrms by Orson Scott Card
I first read this book decades ago, and it was pretty weird. But, I had fond memories of a great character named Will, so it was mostly for him that I decided to re-read the book. Now that I've read the book as an adult, I can report that it is definitely weird. Now, weird is not the same thing as bad. Published in 1987, Card was still in his telepathic alien genetic mixing phase that through much of the 80s. (See: Treason, the Speaker for the Dead trilogy) In a departure from his typical themes, this time its a young girl who is destined to either save or destroy the world. But really, you should read this book, because I like Will, who is, admittedly at most the fifth most important character in the story.

John Adams by David MCullough
This book was much talked about when it came out 15 years ago, and despite reading a few of McCullough's other books, I hadn't read this one. But, when you've run out of books from the library and you're looking through your inlaws bookshelves for something to read . . . well, it was time. McCullough writes a thorough and detailed book, and this one took me a long time to read. I'd read a few pages, but rarely more than that because it wasn't very compelling to find out what Thomas Jefferson's response to Adams' latest letter would be. Also, when Adams becomes very sick in 1780-something, it's hard to feel much suspense when you know the book goes on for 300 more pages and he still has to become president and all.

I liked reading about Adams being the first VP and then the President. It was a time when everyone was still literally trying to figure out what the VP was supposed to do (spoiler: nothing) and how things were supposed to function. It was also good (bad?) to see that from the beginning we had presidential candidates publishing lies about their opponents and then denying they had anything to do with it, and, you know the time the Vice President shot and killed the guy who had been both the Secretary of the Treasury and the Senior Officer of the United States Army.

Influx by Daniel Suarez
Where's my flying car, right? We put a man on the moon nearly 50 years ago using only slide rules, and yet here we are in 2017 and my pillow still does flat like 4 days after a buy it? This must be some sort of government conspiracy, right? Well, yes, that's the premise of this book. Basically, a group goes in and scoops up revolutionary technology before it upsets our social order. Oh, and they keep it for themselves. But, then, of course, one of the scientists that gets scooped up with it doesn't want to cooperate, and the only way he can do that is to get away and bring the whole system down. This book was pretty entertaining. The beginning tries really hard to put all sorts of technical terms into big long sentences to try and make the science sound real or something. To me, if you're going to read science fiction, you've got to just accept the premise of the story that their science gizmos work, so all that effort of trying to convince me is wasted pages. But the book was exciting.

Thursday, October 19

More Utah Observations

We're still getting used to our new surroundings here, and I've come up with a few more things that are different being back home.

1. Blonde people everywhere. Actually mostly blonde women. I've heard people comment about this before and never thought much of it, but I've noticed it much more this time. I'm not sure how much this is a result of the dominating English and Scandinavian heritage in Utah as opposed to women that have decided they want to be blonde. There are also more red heads, which seem to mostly be kids at school, so I assume they aren't getting their color out of a box.

2. The drivers are still fine. I'm not going to give them any awards or anything, but they're fine.

3. The Utah accent. My favorite phrase to strike my ears on a regular basis comes from the moms walking their kids to school who so cheerfully say "Good Morneen!" to me as we pass.

4. The roads are blessedly straight, but all under construction.

5. Fall is nice, but Utah is still pretty brown. Does not compare to fall in Illinois, which likewise does not compare to fall in Michigan.

6. And what do brown plants get you? No wildlife. In the suburbs of Chicago we had birds all over the place at the crack of dawn waking us up. And geese pooping on everything. And deer practically in the mall parking lot. And heron. And squirrels in every yard in every tree. In Utah, such things are relegated to the mountains. So far on my morning runs through the neighborhoods the only wildlife I've seen are dead skunks and stray cats.

7. But the dogs are much better behaved here. 37 runs through the neighborhood and I've had exactly 1 dog try to chase me down, and he was on a leash. I'd get chased by an unleashed dog at least a couple times a month in Illinois, and there were a lot more that looked like they wanted to come eat me. There are fewer dogs here, but what dogs there are have clearly been better trained.

8. When we moved here they seemed to put our records in the wrong ward. A week or so later it was fixed. Another 2 or 3 weeks later they split the stake and renamed the ward. So technically we've already been in 3 different wards here. I think this is slightly less than typical in South Jordan, actually.

And one more bonus thing:

I was on campus at BYU a few weeks ago, and we happened to be walking across campus in the ten minutes between classes. I think it was 2:55pm, which is a pretty busy time of day. It was silent. There was almost no conversation as everyone was plugged in to their phones. (Probably texting the people right next to them, right? Those darn Millennials.) (Are they even Millennials anymore, or have we moved on to another name?) I don't know that this is a Utah thing, just kids doing kid things.

Saturday, September 9

Must Review More Books

No rest for the book-reviewing weary . . .

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
Do you love all things about 80s geek culture? D&D? Atari/TRS-80/Commodore 64 video games? Movies like War Games? Do you want to read hundreds of pages with endless references to all of these things? Well then, I've got the book for you!

Lets run through the setup: Dystopian type near future earth setting. Check. Everyone spends all their time hooked into a VR world that has replaced the internet. Gotcha. Super rich dude who invented the VR world dies and leaves all his money and ownership of the VR world to whoever can follow the clues. Bingo. Oh, and did I mention that he LOVED the 80s? As you're probably assuming, the protagonist is a poor high school aged kid that also loves the 80s. You're also right in guessing that he makes a few friends along the way, and that they get to fight against the evil, rich, powerful corporate bad guys who want to get even more rich and powerful. The book is better than I'm making it out to be here, but seriously, this book is written for males that like video games and were born between 1971 and 1978. If that's not you, this book may not be for you.

Academ's Fury by Jim Butcher
Cursor's Fury by Jim Butcher
I reviewed the first book in the series, Furies of Calderon, a while ago, and here is book 2 and 3 (of 6). Book two had a slow start. Book three was excellent. Other than the fact that every library I go to has all the books in the series except the next one I need, this series has been very, very good. This is one step below "excellent" in my make-it-up-as-you-go ranking system. Book four is sitting beside my bed right now. There isn't much to say that would make much sense if you haven't read the first book, but the world that Butcher is creating has expanded nicely, as the main characters become tangled up in larger politics and wars. If you've read any fantasy at all, you'll understand when I say that this is a book with a map on the first page. Anyway, I'm enjoying the series.

Storm Front by Jim Butcher
As I said, the library doesn't always have the book I need when I need it, so I picked up another book by Jim Butcher. The first book in a series is about Harry Dresden - he's a PI in present day Chicago who also happens to be a Wizard. This isn't Harry Potter style magic where you wave a magic wand and make essentially whatever you want happen. (Summon anything from anywhere! Turn anything into anything else! Stun someone! Turn their legs into jelly! Turn them into a ferret! Apparate to anywhere (except Hogwarts)! Turn yourself invisible! Do all the housework! Anyway . . . ) This Harry (Dresden that is) lives in a world with a much grittier type of magic and consults with the police when weird stuff goes down, as well as other jobs for private individuals. In this book he's got a gruesome double murder that the police don't understand, and a missing persons case and (lo and behold) things are all interconnected! The book was ok. There are now 15 books in the series. They pre-date the Fury books of his that I've read, so it's possible that his writing has improved over the years and the Dresden books would improve as the series goes on. (maybe?)

How Not To Be Wrong by Jordan Ellenberg
Math nerd book alert! Jordan Ellenberg is a math professor at the University of Wisconsin - he's like a real deal mathematician. The book essentially expounds on a couple of core topics which is that 1) math is useful to all sorts of problems, and 2) we would all be better off if we understood math better in order to not be wrong, and 3) that includes you. His goal is to demonstrate simple yet profound insights that good math gives to the world, and he points out plenty of bad math along the way. ("Bad math" being a large degree of what you see in the news, and nearly everything that you see from anyone on TV with an 'R' or 'D' after their name.) Ellenberg writes well, and manages to insert enough humor in the book that I start reading paragraphs aloud to Shannon. Shannon lovingly puts up with me when I do this. Coming in a bit over 400 pages, the book is a little longer than it needed to be, but I liked it. This book is accessible to anyone with a high school education and things like this should be read by more people (especially those people with the 'R's and 'D's after their name on CNN/FoxNews). Sadly, we all know that it's mostly math nerds that are going to read the book.

And since, in all likelihood, you aren't going to read the book please remember these things:

  • Not All Lines are Straight. Linear trend lines are often silly things to use.
  • 5% or more of scientific studies are wrong, because that's how we've designed our system.
  • If you never lose, you probably aren't taking enough risk.
  • Percentage increases or decreases are terrible to use if the numbers might be negative
  • All public opinion polls can be messed with to make them appear to say whatever you want them to say.

Thursday, September 7

So Many Books

I've made a terrible mistake. Apparently I haven't reviewed any books that I've read for nearly 3 months. I guess I've been busy with unemployment and stuff. So I'm 11 books and 4,820 pages behind, not counting the two books I'm currently in the middle of. Let's see if I still remember what all these books are about . . . .

Old Man's War by John Scalzi
The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi
The Last Colony by John Scalzi
Hooray, a trilogy! Look at all this progress so far. This is a sci-fi story set in the somewhat distant future of Earth. Earth is still around and doing ok, but there are a number of colonies out there. There are two ways to get to the colonies. People from some developing nations can get one way tickets as colonists, and people from developed nations can volunteer for military service ... but not until the age of 75. What good are a bunch of old people marines? No good at all, but this is the future, where we can fix up your old and busted body - though we're a little vague on how that works. And that is about the extent of the information the main character, John, has when he decides to sign up for the military. You'll be shocked to find out that John is shocked to find out that life in the space marines (my name for it) is not at all what was expected. On the surface, this is "Ender's Game but with Old People" but it manages to create an interesting universe and fill it with interesting characters.

The next two books follow the universe that Scalzi created, not necessarily the characters in the first book. Some of them still play prominent roles, but John certainly isn't the protagonist of the second book. (But has a bigger role in the third book.) I think this is a nice little feature, because its frankly a little ridiculous when so many series have one main character who is miraculously present for every important event ever. Also, in looking this up on wikipedia to check on the spelling of Scalzi's name, I see there are three more books in the series. I'll tentatively add them to my list, though they aren't getting priority status.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling
It takes a long time to read these books aloud to your kids. My vocal chords are glad we're finally done, but I miss the nightly reading time. Somewhere in book 5 or 6, I started the tradition of finding a silly way for Harry to die in every single chapter - long before I realized what sort of confusion I was potentially setting them up for by the end of book seven. It didn't really play out like I thought - it looks like our years of telling the girls that everything will turn out alright at the end of the book/movie has finally sunk in. Obviously an excellent book. Go read it to your kids.

Grandma Gatewood's Walk by Ben Montgomery
One day a sixty-something year old grandma from Ohio threw a denim bag over her shoulder (that she had made herself) and decided to go for a walk along the 2,100+ mile Appalachian Trail. She traveled alone, stopped at strangers homes to ask if she could sleep for the night, and foraged for food when she didn't have any better options. She was a month or so into her trip before she even bothered to write to her kids to tell them where she had gone. Emma Gatewood, at the age of 67 was the first woman to hike the entire length of the Appalachian Trail. A few years later, she did it again. And then a third time (in sections) for good measure. Somewhere in there she decided to walk the Oregon Trail, too. (And I can't keep up on a blog of the books I read.) This was an excellent book about a lady who thought "it would be a nice lark" to hike the AT, and didn't see any reason why she couldn't do it.

Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians by Brandon Sanderson
The title of this book is redundant, because all librarians are evil. They just don't want you to know it. They secretly rule the world, and withhold information, like the fact that dinosaurs aren't extinct (also they aren't as large as you think and they speak with a British accent) and that there are whole continents that don't show up on the maps that the librarians publish. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Alcatraz Smedry is your standard 13 year old foster kid who is always getting into trouble until the day that his grandfather (who he's never met) shows up and tells him that he is Not What He Seems™. You know how these books go: his parents were important people, and he is needed in the resistance against the evil librarians. Also, as a part of the Smedry family, he has special powers. Alcatraz has the ability to break things. His grandfather, Leavenworth, has a talent for showing up late to things. Other impressive Smedry talents include Falling Down, Speaking Gibberish that No One Can Understand, and Spilling Unbelievable Amounts of Water. This is a YA book which is not, in my opinion, as good as Sanderson's usual work, but could be fun for someone in the 10-13 age range that wants a somewhat silly adventure. Apparently there are 5 or 6 books in the series now, though I've only read the first one.