Our Paris vacation party consisted of me and Shannon as well as Shannon's sister and mother. About half way through the trip, while visiting the lovely Chateau Chenonceaux (such a perfect French word), Shannon's mom didn't see a step that was lurking in the middle of a little hallway. The resultant fall ended with a fractured elbow and two hairline fractures in her pelvis. And there, in the hallway at Chenonceaux, is where our vacation ended. The helpful and kind staff at the Chateau kept us company while we waited for the ambulance to come take her to the hospital in the bustling metropolis of Amboise (note: not a metropolis) to see the extent of the damage. After the x-rays confirmed the damage, and that she needed surgery to put her elbow back together, we got to start facing the first of many questions that we had not previous considered when planning our trip.
1. Where is the best place for 3 people to get a room on short notice in Amboise, France?
2. How do you say "elbow," "surgery," "screws," and a whole host of other similar words in French?
2a. If you're me, how do you say anything in French?
3. What do you do when your best French speaker is now hospitalized?
4. How do you get insurance forms printed while in Amboise, France? Is there a Kinkos?
5. Is the surgery going to be tomorrow? (Answer: no.) How about the next day? (Answer: yes. No, wait, never mind, no.) How about the next day? (Answer: Yes. We think. Probably. Call in the morning to find out. Ok, it turns out, yes, it did happen on day 3.)
6. How is the French medical system? (Pretty good.)
7. How much English does the hospital staff speak? (Very little.)
8. How do you make a phone call from an American cell phone in France to a phone in France?
9. Should Kim go home as planned on Wednesday, even though the surgery hasn't happened yet? (Yes.) If so, how does she get back to Paris? (Lots of different trains.)
10. Can we return the rental car 3 days late and do a different location? (Yes, they were very nice, though those extra three days apparently cost more than the first 4.)
11. Is it possible to have surgery in the morning, get released from the hospital in Amboise at 5:30pm and drive to the airport in Paris all in one day? (Yes) Will this be fun? (Not by the end.) Will it rain? (Indeed.) Will the freeway be closed? (Of course!) Will the gas station be closed? (Clearly.) Will your phone battery die? (Nearly.) Can you stop at the temple along the way? (Yes!) Will you get to drive through the longest urban motorway tunnel in the world? (Yes. It's over 6.5 miles long.) Will you take the wrong exit when the tunnel forks halfway through requiring you to go back through the tunnel a second time (and pay the toll a second time)? (Undoubtedly. It was just that sort of day.)
12. How do you navigate Charles de Gaulle International Airport with someone who can barely walk and needs a wheelchair? How do you say wheelchair in French? (It doesn't matter, once you get to the airport they all speak English and Francois will take care of everything.)
Getting from the hospital in Amboise to airport gate 16 hours later was perhaps the most exhausting thing I have ever done. I suppose once the trip is sufficiently in the rear-view mirror (not yet) this will all seem a wonderful character building experience. Check back in a year and we'll see how I feel. But I guess we proved that we can survive unexpected challenges in a foreign land.
It wouldn't be a trip to the hospital in France if the ER isn't on strike. (But they were still there working. I'm not sure how this all fits together.
Is the fact that this cemetery is right across the street from the hospital a good sign?
This macaron was very tasty. The decor in our emergency hotel room was .... less tasty.
Continuing the theme of "pastries you do want to eat in places you don't want to eat them": A religieuse in a hospital room. It's like a big, round, double-decker eclair. (And for the record, I was only two vowels short of spelling it right on the first try.)
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