At work I sit next to a guy from Sri Lanka, so I finally have an outlet for all of these Sri Lankan questions I've been building up for the last 32 years. (There's actually a surprising number of them.) Last week, he told me something fascinating: in Sri Lanka, you don't say "thank you" to your friends and family, because it's considered rude. (Well, I guess his actual phrasing was that saying 'thank you' implies a lack of closeness, but you get the idea.)
The more I've thought about this, the more I kinda like it. (And not for the obvious reason that I'm lazy, and at time ungrateful.) Their logic is that it is completely unnecessary for your friends to thank you for things, because you're not doing it in order to earn their thanks. Think of it as the definition of good friends - people who do things for you because they love you and they know you'd do the same for them. There's a bit of a friendship-contract there. I help you move, and I know that when I need help moving, you'll be there for me. No thanks necessary. Now, if a stranger helps me pick up the pile of books and papers I've just dropped, I should thank them, because they have no expectation of the favor ever being reciprocated; all I have to offer in return is my thanks.
When my friend first moved to the US, it took him a little while to figure out why people who he thought were his friends were so rude as to write him thank you notes when he helped them with things. (They were also probably wondering why their friend who is generally a very polite person would never thank them for anything.) Obviously, we all need to live within the social fabric that our society has defined for us, so it's not like I can really put this in to practice very well. But, I thought it was fascinating, and I wanted to pass the knowledge along.
Also, if I ever forget to thank you for something, you should assume it's because I consider you a really good friend.
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