There is a non-zero chance that you might come to Illinois someday. There are a fair number of states on either side of it, so even if you aren't coming to visit me, you still might be driving through. If/when that finally happens, I wanted to help you out a little bit by letting you know how to drive here. There are some special rules. I don't know how much they apply to the whole state, but they seem to be true for the parts in Chicagoland that I've experienced.
1. Freeway speed limits aren't really "limits" they're more like "meaningless numbers someone wrote on the side of the road." Every interstate I've been on here has a posted limit of 55. No one goes 55. I know that you're thinking that no one goes the speed limit in whatever state you live in, but you're wrong. Some people do: they're the ones you complain about all the time on facebook. But here, literally, no one goes 55. Or 60. Around 65 is where the traffic flow starts, and provided there isn't too much traffic, most people are buzzing along at 70 or 75. Since 55 is an unreasonably low limit, it's like everyone has agreed to pretend it says 65, and then they drive their normal 5-10 over. Of course there are people doing 80+. Interestingly, even the cops seem to be ok with this arrangement. No one seems to get tickets.
2. When you think a light is about to turn green, start pulling into the intersection. Even though you've stopped 5 feet in front of the stop line, start pulling into the intersection when it seems like it's about to be your turn. If the light doesn't turn green though, you'd better stop. At this point your entire car is over the stop line. But then, when it feels like the green is about to come, start pulling forward again. Don't worry about the red light or anything, just keep scooting up. Tonight I saw someone get at least 20 feet past the stop line this way, and they were getting very close to being in the way of traffic that was still going through the intersection, because, you know, they had a green light. I don't understand the reasoning for this creeping, but if you want to blend in with the locals, you'd better do it, too.
3. Don't merge until the last possible moment, even if there are dozens of signs warning you of what going on. You folks from Utah are already pros at this, so just keep doing what you've always been doing. You Michiganders, just turn off your brain and drive like you're the most important person in the world, even if you end up slowing down everyone including yourself.
4. Smoke. Make sure your window is down with your cigarette hanging outside. And make sure you're stopped in front of me at every single red light. If you have friends, surround my car on all sides, particularly if it's a nice day and I have the windows down.
5. Make sure you drive as much as possible. The way I figure, this must be what the Chicagoans are doing. How else can they ensure that there is a traffic jam on the freeway on a Saturday morning?
2 comments:
At traffic school, the cop told us that we should all use the entire lane before merging because it improves traffic flow. Just sayin.
And I will remember you surrounded by smokers the next time I complain about one smoker nearby on a windows-down-driving day.
Of you want to see merging done right, go drive in Michigan. Drivers identify a space in the lane they need to get into and merge well before they absolutely must, and other drivers let them in. Everyone proceed with minimal slowing. In Utah, everyone rushed to the merge point, cuts each other off and make everyone behind them break.
Think about how the steady flow of merging traffic onto I-15 that is regulated by the lights on the on ramps helps things flow much more smoothly. Michiganders have figured out how to drive like that without anyone making them.
Post a Comment